Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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